I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize