He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
