i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
