There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
