Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
pray to the hookup gods
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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