i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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