ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
