I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
