i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
