oh god the rape fog is back!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
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Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.