how can u be prego again
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first