he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him