My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
