just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
