Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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