we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
