Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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