I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
