Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
