It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
