Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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