my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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