yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
