I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
