This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
