hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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