brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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