I think my vagina is haunted
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
