So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
