You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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