I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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