the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
