found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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