does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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