Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
