She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
