enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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