This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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