I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
