And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
