And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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