Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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