Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
