i need an iv and a liver transplant
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize