This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
