Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
