Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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