my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize