Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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