so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
