think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
