I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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