As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
