I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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