Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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