I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
