Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
