don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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