1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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