Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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