i barfeds in our rink
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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