He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
