My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
