next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
