Moan for me like Helen Keller
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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