Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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